The List

It seems every military wife has a list out there of the top ten things not to say to a military wife. You see them on t-shirts and greeting cards and posters and blogs. I've found a couple that were right on (http://www.soldiersperspective.us/2008/02/20/things-not-to-say-to-a-military-wife/ and http://www.allmilitary.com/board/viewtopic.php?pid=46988 are great lists).

In that spirit, I thought I'd put together my own list. Feel free to add in the comments, as you see fit.

1) Did you see the news/this article?
I was recently sent a copy of an article from CNN with the story of four soldiers killed in Iraq and a note asking if Shawn was okay. I don't even know where to begin with this one. Are people really that thoughtless that they think I NEED to see or hear about these kinds of things? I purposefully avoid the news on Iraq and Afghanistan while Shawn is deployed and even while he's home. All it does is make me worry. Besides, what if Shawn wasn't okay? Would I really need someone to send me something like that?

2) Is he working around females?
This comment used to get under my skin, much like the whole "soldiers got hurt" articles. But now it's sort of a pointless question. The underlying tone of the question is actually putting Shawn's integrity under the microscope and that's just plain insulting. I trust him 100% because that's what our relationship is like - so sorry if it's not that way for you.

3) Why does he keep going?
Um, because he loves his job and believes in his mission. When he signed up he had a reason and purpose in mind and he's happy to be fulfilling that purpose. Unlike a lot of Americans, Shawn has a job that makes him feel good and that he is tops at. He knows there is a job to be done and we should all be glad there are people like him to do it.

4) Do you wanna go out to the club/bar with me?
For one, I'm not 21 anymore. Secondly, I have a busy enough life and a fun enough social circle that I don't need to find distraction in clubs and bars. Those places are mostly meat markets anyway, and what business would I have there? How about inviting me out to a movie or over to your house for dinner?

5) Have you heard from him?
Believe me, I count the days between phone calls and/or emails and/or letters. I'm not one of those wives that freaks out if I don't hear from him every single day. In fact, once a week is about all I can handle. I don't like having to explain this to every other wife and get into a "let's compare husbands" game. If I haven't heard from him in two weeks, it doesn't mean there's a problem with our relationship, nor does it mean our relationship is any less strong or valid than yours. I'll hear from him when I hear from him and you asking me how long it's been just serves to drum up unnecessary and unfounded insecurities in me.


I have many more, but I'll add as I have time. Back to the grindstone I call a desk job. Yay for a regular income!